Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
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