What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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