Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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