Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
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