Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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