This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
