He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
