herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
