TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
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i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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