Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
