I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
