Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
