So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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