please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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