Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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