Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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