Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We got so high we made milksteak
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
