I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Of course I have a pirate flag
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
