I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize