it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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