well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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