If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
