the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Vodka?
Forever.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
