The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
