Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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