Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize