He is such a slut. More and more my type.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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