Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
