It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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