U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
My first STD was from a foam party
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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