Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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