Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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