Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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