I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
