i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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