Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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