Don't make out with my wife yet
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
COCAINE IS GR8
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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