party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I have post one night stand depression
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
