Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
