My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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