Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
