i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize