What a fucking waste of an outfit
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize