Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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