I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
