How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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