Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
last night I used snow as a chaser
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Panties = found
Randomize
