I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
