Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
