If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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