My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
This toilet bowl is my home.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
