if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
