in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I supernannyed him into submission
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
