I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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