My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
