She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
