I think I am morally bankrupt
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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