Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
