8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
