if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
