I wish I could punch you in the face.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize