god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
