Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
