i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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