Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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