at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
