Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
