The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
